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A Canadian expatriate living and exploring first France now Germany, then BACK to FRANCE (!!!) with her family; former fashion designer, turned unexpected UNLIKELY NOMAD, raising two children, writing, photographing, painting, playing piano (who knew!!) and blogging - and now... full time student at ART SCHOOL!! (I MUST be crazy!!)

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

More Stars


I few months ago we decided (that would be unilaterally ME) that we needed to implement some sort of system to allow for discussion and encouragement of the tasks that we face around here on a daily basis.

So we implemented the "Star" system. You can check it out on a previous post here.

It has been fabulously successful and I must confess my kids have mastered most of the things on the list so well, with all the positive reinforcement, we have pretty much outgrown it. My kids have been bugging me to revamp the list of things that can be done well to earn stars because they loved it so much. One or two stars get rewarded for each thing during the day done well and can be traded up for all sorts of good things.

Both the kids and I loved the fact that at the end of the day we got to connect in a really nice way. I loved the fact that no matter how cruddy the day had been I was able to help them end on a good note and give some positive feedback about all the stuff well done. It provided a great opportunity for us all to feel as though we were making some progress mastering the things that typically had become sore spots.

Riel and I sat down and chatted about what else we could add to the list in a more general way and this is what we came up with going forward.

I think it looks pretty good.

I am looking forward to talking to them about some of these topics in a concrete way.

Star List #2

CONSIDERATION= Showing kindness and thinking of others
Unsolicited act of kindness like sharing
Showing empathy by comforting
Letting other’s go first
Helping others

RESPECT= Showing others we value them
Listening attentively by focusing our attention
Letting others know we hear and understand with eye contact
Letting others know we hear and understand by responding
Letting others do the things they need to do by giving space

Dignity=Letting other’s know we value ourselves
Talking about our feelings
Making sure we use appropriate words to be understood
Keeping a positive attitude
Not arguing

Manners=Showing we respect others by using polite behaviour
Saying please and thank you
Using cutlery properly
Allowing others to speak
Keeping our elbows off the table

Responsibility=Taking care of ourselves
Getting up on our own, Getting dressed on our own, Making our own beds
Figuring out what we need and asking for what we need
After an activity putting what we used, the things away
Organizing our things for the next activity-thinking ahead
Taking care of our own stuff

BEING PART OF THE TEAM=helping out
Making a meal
Helping with a meal
Cleaning a bathroom
Setting the table
Clearing the table
Offering to help

Aren't you glad you don't live at our house!!!

10 comments:

Beth said...

I wish I did live at your house - I would earn lots of stars!

And I also wish I'd thought of this star/reward system when my kids were young. It's brilliant!

Nomad said...

Thanks for the nice words, I am sure you did an absolutely fine job...sort of feel like a funny geek making a list and all (I guess it comes naturally to everyone else)...but hey it works for us!!

Mom of Three said...

Holy cow, my kids would drive you batty! We're lucky if they remember not to wipe their hands on ME.

Attila The Mom said...

I think these are fabulous! What a great list!

Beth said...

I think you rock with the stars thing!! I think my kids are a little old for that tho, but man, if they were little, I would be doing that too!

Mom of Three said...

I just have to add, may I live 100 years I will NEVER have a photo of me as cool as one at the Acropolis with a baby on my back! That's just beyond cool!

Nomad said...

Thanks so much guys!!
It is really fun talking to my kids about this stuff, I so want them to understand the right things and to feel really super good about themsleves. Self esteem is so important no?
Nobody really talks about it , I figure why not?

MOT Shucks... you are VERY sweet...
I bet you have some awesome pics of you and your kids too...

Nomad said...

Thanks so much guys!!
It is really fun talking to my kids about this stuff, I so want them to understand the right things and to feel really super good about themsleves. Self esteem is so important no?
Nobody really talks about it , I figure why not?

MOT Shucks... you are VERY sweet...
I bet you have some awesome pics of you and your kids too...

Nomad said...

Thanks so much guys!!
It is really fun talking to my kids about this stuff, I so want them to understand the right things and to feel really super good about themsleves. Self esteem is so important no?
Nobody really talks about it , I figure why not?

MOT Shucks... you are VERY sweet...
I bet you have some awesome pics of you and your kids too...

fracas said...

Hi there. Followed you from Rootie's.

My kids are older now, but when my 20 & 16 year old ones were younger, we used a similar system and it did work really well. I can't brag about being swift enough to come up with it on my own as you did, I got my idea from the book and video called 123 Magic (a method of parenting we chose to go with because my oldest was very very ADHD and 123 was like, well... magic.)

The 123 magic worked so well that his grade 1 teacher adopted it for the entire classroom. Truly remarkable.

Good on you for all that effort with your kids, it makes a big difference.

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